I can't even decide whether I am upset, angry, worried, or just pissed off.
I mean, that feeling when he tried to explain - or to find lame excuses - that he needs to wait, he prefers to take his time, slowly, even though he was the first one to make the move - and I have to admit, I just ignore it in the first way.
But now, it is only ridiculous, as the situation is bound to stay still forever.
When he comes to reject the fault on me, which is very much in keeping with self-defense and self-esteem, I finally realize that I can't cope with that anymore. That personality, that way of thinking. The fact that I am losing my time and energy for only nothing.
We may be different, but we need to understand each other in order to build something, don't we ?
I then feel upset, not because I fail again while trying to build something, but only because I feel powerless in front of those situations, when the other isn't at the same level. I feel powerless, and frustrated to have thought that they was hope somewhere in this cloudy relationship.